PERIOD.

Sorry to be so late my fellow readers. This post is gonna be filled with all my rantings. The lion king movie was just two hours. I reached half an hour before the showtime, I don’t know why maybe for the first time I was this early.  But who comes late to such small movies? I don’t have a boyfriend. Do I? Why he is so over cringy today.  Do I even know the meaning of cringe? Why have I even worn heels today to a movie? So my friends came late who officially had the tickets. Loads of people not letting focus on the movie. Why my best friend has a habit of using so cussing words all the time?!  Why don’t I feel involved with my official college group of friends? I feel so out of the blue and alone around them. I can’t keep standing any more. I don’t wanna walk in these overly costly heels I bought and then mom not being happy about it over India-Dubai calls. Why do some people don’t understand I didn’t mean it. You believe what I said a minute back and now you don’t believe that I didn’t mean to say whatever my words spoke and meant and now you want to ignore me till death?! Yeah? Oh my oh so ‘college friends’ came late to a two-hour movie and now some of them already had lunch and others will go back home or hostel or PG to have lunch. I live far guys. I came over so far and now I am freakingly hungry without a company? Why is there no place to sit in Mcdonalds especially when I really really need it? Why his choice of ice cream comes out good? Oh, wait I forgot something. Why my friends are no fond of taking pictures especially when I have dressed up so nicely? I am bad at a concentration of my mind on different things, yeah. But why am I always mocked to be a very bad listener? I am kiddish. I am stupid. I don’t hear. My ears are some buttons which out of the blue hear anything only on the 10th time. If you are lucky I may hear it before the 10th time. I am so bad at this. Making friends has never been my cup of tea. And I here, lost my so close best friend on account of her fault, not mine, please. Why do two of us always forget CFA books?  Will I ever feel like studying myself when that subject teacher sucks?  When will I know what I want to do with my life? Do I believe in love? Will I ever become a writer? Why am I a girl? This every month pain is awful as hell! Just because now, I know how to drive two-wheeler and four-wheeler does that mean I can never book a cab and go to some outing or party without getting tired of this shitty driving? Ahmedabad roads suck too. Some friends are just interested to play board games especially on the days I can’t come. I can’t even feel like getting out of my bed! This friend of mine doesn’t even understand! I fucking told him the reason dude! I really would have loved to come but ughhhhhhhhhhh. It hurts. I am no wonder woman, please.  Not even one of those wonderful girls I was or some of your girlfriends still are. My mom works too much. She has no time for me. I need her to do something about this awful awful pain in my head. But alas! She is busy. She is not listening to all my cries. She is busy tending the house and making food and repeat and repeat and repeat. Do my parents really care for me? Or I some kind of responsibility on which their society respect is dependant. Why am I so confused about what to gift my brother? The only great brother I've who is such a techie person for whom I've no time. Why does this stereotypical boy have time to call me every week and talk for such a long hour. Who knows my feelings for my lost best friend? Why he thinks he is so good and girls out their suck?! I don’t! I just don’t love him and I can’t don anything about it!oh god, I got the best ever compliment about my writings from him. He sounded so sweet. I got the perfect timing inspiration. But he hasn’t and not much other people have noticed that I haven’t posted today. She is there on my lock screen video for over 3 months. She hasn’t got time to give me a birthday party? Oh, wait, in my busy schedule, I actually hardly have time. Lesser views. My college is so tiring. Catching the bus is tiring as hell. I am no world’s best runner. I hate my hairy tanned skin. I love makeup sometimes really. I don’t like this life anymore. I wish to pick a long knife and killing right in my lower abdomen. That’s the end. Maybe all girls are not overacting like me. Even I am not like this every time. Half of the people won't even get who am I mentioning here and who not. But whoever is in my connection, messages or calls or any contact, I don’t want to lose you. I love you all. I go stupid and cracked sometimes in every month. It may not be my P-days. I really don’t want to lose you all. Just be there. It matters. You all really matter to me. See you later!