Posts

Second Chance

Do you know about the feeling when you love someone, and they don’t love you back? When your found to be not trustworthy enough by your loved one. Ever felt the depressing tearful need to run back in time and change the committed mistake you did which made you lose yourself. Sometimes you really need to give yourself a second chance, you must, and tell yourself to forgive what you did and move on. Sometimes forgiving isn’t that easy my girl. You wanna ask if you really deserved what happened to you because of the mistake you committed which looked like such a wonderful thing in first place, maybe just an interesting feeling of human species ----- a question to nobody. You tell yourself that perhaps it was deserving because that was the first time you lied about big things, became the untrustworthy one for all your loved ones, got so confused as you got the ‘changed’ feeling but maybe that difference was a mistake. Even your most loved one forgave you, changed you, categorized you, und...

Love

Image
Love is that pure little feeling. Why little? Because we all become babies or stupid ‘in love’ children. Its so cute. Its so lovely. Its so damn beautiful. It’s a feeling so undescriptable yet expressable in the form of actions. Yes, being more physical and intimate doesn’t proves to be out of love or full of lust. Intimacy is yet another connection of human bodies where one can feel the intentions without hearing it out aloud. Love can simply be that one little moment where you want to eat food or heart shaped chocolates from his fingers. Love may not last lifetime, but lovely heartfelt memories last forever. Actions dont always include hearts and flowers, hugs and kisses, holding hands or kit-katss tempting between two pairs of lips; it can just be her smile when she watches him pack her bag diligently while she was called for a meeting at the end of the last lecture, and she hugs him from   behind not in real but with her soul to his in her imagination to tell him how much...

Mind war

Image
Its mind war or war in brain, which theme would be better? Or I would have just kept it as inner war given by Deeksha ma’am after all wars do happen in the most sensitive emotional part of human beings also – hearts. Personally, decision making has been very hard for me in my life so far. It is well said that lives of girls especially in India haven been always competitive. Most of the times there aren’t just two – angel and demon but loads of; voice of society, voice of Mumma, voice of dad, voices of my different friends because everybody is unique, and last but not the least voice of my inner self which is at times unrecognizable as it gets affected by everybody. Apparently which chocolate you chose wont matter after having one. The secret you regretted to hide in your teenage hood won’t matter once you turn into much matured adults. And surprisingly the hard truth is that even one who is eligible to give vote in India or taken her/his own decisions and will, regarding property a...

PERIOD.

Sorry to be so late my fellow readers. This post is gonna be filled with all my rantings. The lion king movie was just two hours. I reached half an hour before the showtime, I don’t know why maybe for the first time I was this early.  But who comes late to such small movies? I don’t have a boyfriend. Do I? Why he is so over cringy today.  Do I even know the meaning of cringe? Why have I even worn heels today to a movie? So my friends came late who officially had the tickets. Loads of people not letting focus on the movie. Why my best friend has a habit of using so cussing words all the time?!  Why don’t I feel involved with my official college group of friends? I feel so out of the blue and alone around them. I can’t keep standing any more. I don’t wanna walk in these overly costly heels I bought and then mom not being happy about it over India-Dubai calls. Why do some people don’t understand I didn’t mean it. You believe what I said a minute back and now you don’t beli...

Talent

Image
I have never done this before. I have never been this nervous about a date. From the past one hour I assume I have been the most confusing man in this world, weighing the pros and cons of wearing a proper suit and tie because this date feels like a high school prom to me or should I be natural and wear just a pair of jeans and t-shirt like teenage boys do and still get beautiful girls attracted towards them. Beard is sexy but I know that she prefers cute one out of a crowd. Why you wanna go all sexy and money if your heart knows what she likes and what you want. Be it reading, writing, singing or dancing or maybe just painting the whole world with different colours. My own colours. My memories. I go for something blue because that’s her favourite and yes, also my favourite and shave my beard. I get out of my house, to get my freedom in this so wonderful world of mine. On the way of my drive to the theatre, I caught some roses not because I know what she likes but because I am not ...

Inspired by Her

Hey readers. This post is for the person who gifted me a nice notebook with the hashtag - #thegirlwiththepinknotebook. She is my teacher and I used to love her lectures a lot. She is an inspirer who got my brain write different things with no care about what others think. if she is reading this now... Hey! We don't have a picture together or I would have loved to post it here. This was written on the first page of the book she gifted me. Why do people who get awkward with gifts and compliments can gift the nicest thing ever? Yesssssss. I never remember getting such a lovely diary out of blue from someone. Maybe you still haven’t realised how much writing and this notebook means to me. Not denying that YOU giving this matters a lot too. Was it really necessary for Sachin and Srishti to mention those stupid things I babble and do related to you? You said to me that you wanted to give me something special that I feel like its mine. I am glad to have something which will ma...

American Pie

Image
I watched 'American Pie' today, like completed just about 15 minutes back and to be honest I didn't get turned on ---- it wasn't perhaps that exciting enough. Whats wrong with you Saumya?  It was really porn with a story ----  a perfect porn movie suggested by your friends and a very frank teacher, basically to watch it for fun. Maybe you are a lesbian? Oh no, ‘The Lucky One’ or ‘The Notebook’ --- movies from the books written by Nicholas Sparks were really exciting right!? It had all that sex and intimacy stuff and even those small sweet kisses got me turned on. It’s not bad to get excited. Love is this crazy thing. Love is a roller coaster and you are bound to get excited as well as afraid. You are afraid to fall when you are on a roller coaster dude, obviously! That means you are afraid to lose yourself, my dear. In love you and him are same. It’s one and only. Love makes you afraid of losing her but yes, it has a seat belt. This strong feeling doesn’t die easily....